Why a big arse is a big bonus
When I was about nineteen or twenty I had a revelation. I've never been the most slim-line of chaps, and at this point my waistline had balooned to a point where I wasn't physically able to perform as a central midfielder. I was, at worst, twenty-three stone and a brief cameo as a substitute goalkeeper for Killay FC aside, my only footballing outlet was Pro Evolution Soccer. Weirdly though, this helped me understand football a lot better, and helped me become a much better player - before injury cruelly curtailed a career which would surely have ended up with me banging thirty-yarders in for the Swans. Maybe.
Anyway. My point. I realised that if you're a player with more strength than your average opponent, this can be used to your advantage massively. This will be basics to anyone who's been involved in football but when you take your first touch, get your body between the ball and the man who's trying to get it off you - and this is where the ass comes in. As the owner of a fairly healthily-sized derriere, I realised that if I stuck my arse out, and kept my body between my opponent and the ball, I was damn near impossible to move.
Scale that up to professional football. Jason Scotland is a brilliant example. Massive arse - massive goal return. How did he do it? I'd imagine if you asked him he'd say he did it fairly easily - hold off your man, spin one way or the other then bang it in the net. The most beautiful things are often the most simple, and if you have a skill set (and physical attributes) which allow you to simplify how you do things - why wouldn't you?
The ass is a huge weapon. Wilfried Bony is the inspiration behind this article, as he uses his strength more effectively than any other player I've ever seen. Ok, he probably is the strongest player I've ever seen, but his ability to hold a man off whilst taking a first touch really is something special to watch. By crouching slightly, bracing and using his bodyweight carefully, he is able to retain possession - literally - at will.
It's not just players with massive arses who are able to harness the power of the arse though - look at Nathan Dyer. I'd wager he spends about 20% of any given game with his legs braced wide apart, arse stuck out, spinning to keep his back between the ball and his man. Through doing this, he is able to regularly retain possession way, way better than someone of his stature should be able to when under pressure from multiple defenders.
Brendan Rodgers was instrumental in getting Dyer to do this, I think, and the similarities in how Raheem Sterling is now playing are evidence that Rodgers is big on getting his players to use their bodyweight to their advantage. A combination of balance, poise, timing and a big arse can, as Wilf has on occasion shown, make you literally unplayable.
I've written this because, like Wilf, players have been criticised for "not working hard enough" or "not putting the yards in" on many an occasion, when they obviously aren't built for it. The growing use of the 4-3-3/4-2-3-1 means that, for centre-forwards especially, these attributes could well be growingly important. Sergio Aguero is excellent in this regard, as is Luis Suarez (though obviously both are vastly different players to Bony), and I could list players who are excellent at using their bodyweight to hold the ball up all day, but when you have someone with the nous to know when to put his body in front of the ball, plus an ass which allows them to create an impenetrable barrier, you simply have to play to his strengths.
Quite simply, his strengths will more often than not be enough.